How To Pretend You’re Busy In A Zoom Room

By Me -

How To Pretend You’re Busy In A Zoom Room


Let’s clear the air. Zoom meetings are not about productivity. They are about performance. They are modern office theatre—part Shakespeare, part surveillance, part low-resolution hostage situation. And if you’ve been working long enough, you already know the truth: looking busy often matters more than being busy.

So here it is—a professional, motivational guide to surviving the Zoom Room with your dignity intact.

First rule: master the face.
Your expression should say, “I am deeply engaged,” not “I regret every life choice that led here.” Slight nodding is key. Not too enthusiastic—that’s suspicious. Not too still—that’s alarming. The perfect nod says, “Yes, I understand,” even when you’re mentally planning dinner. Glasses help. They add instant credibility. If you already wear them, congratulations—you’re halfway to management.

Second rule: the strategic mute.
Mute is power. Mute is control. Mute is how you chew, sigh, whisper sarcasm, and exist as a human being without HR getting involved. Unmuting should feel intentional and rare, like a solar eclipse. When you do speak, say something safe and vague: “That’s a good point,” or “Let’s circle back to that.” No one knows what it means, but everyone nods.

Third rule: multitasking theatre.
You’re not scrolling social media—you’re “checking notes.” You’re not replying WhatsApp—you’re “following up.” Occasional keyboard sounds help sell the illusion. If possible, glance slightly away from the camera as if reading a second screen. You look busy. Important. Slightly overworked. Exactly the brand.

Fourth rule: the background strategy.
Your background tells a story. A clean wall says dependable. Bookshelves say thoughtful, even if you’ve read none of them. Plants suggest emotional stability. Avoid messy beds and questionable laundry piles unless your goal is chaos leadership. Virtual backgrounds are acceptable, but choose wisely. Nothing screams “I’m not paying attention” like glitching into the Maldives mid-sentence.

Fifth rule: the well-timed question.
Ask one smart question per meeting. Just one. Any more and people expect follow-ups. Any less and you risk being forgotten—or worse, assigned work. The best questions start with “Just to clarify…” and end with someone else talking for five minutes. This is efficiency.

Now, the Stoic lesson hidden inside all this satire: presence is a choice.
Not every meeting deserves your full mental bandwidth. Some are genuinely important. Others are ceremonial. Learning the difference is not laziness—it’s survival. Protect your energy. Focus where it actually matters. Don’t burn yourself out performing productivity for people who mistake attendance for impact.

Pretending to be busy isn’t about deception. It’s about navigating imperfect systems with intelligence and restraint. Do your real work well. Show up when it counts. And when the Zoom Room becomes an echo chamber of buzzwords and “quick updates,” remember: staying sane is also a form of professionalism.

Nod wisely.
Mute strategically.
And always, always look like you’re about to say something important—even if you never do.


- infonetpreneur.com

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